Trianon Magazine

by Esther Adesoye Ayobami

Have you ever caught yourself walking down the street and suddenly becoming aware of everything; your footsteps, your breathing, the way your bag swings against your waist, the sun rays radiating through your hair,skin or eyes or even the music that accompanies your scene; And for just a moment, it feels like there’s a camera following you. Not because anyone is actually watching, but because you are. It’s almost funny how naturally we  girls slip into that silent performance.

It usually starts small.

You put on lip gloss before stepping outside; not because anyone will notice, but because the version of you in your head deserves to shine. You pause your music just to imagine which scene of your imaginary movie this moment would fit into: the quiet walk, the heartbreak montage, the one-day-this-would-all-make-sense scene, the rebirth sequence. And somehow, life feels easier when it has a soundtrack.

People call it delusion.

Some psychologists even term it maladaptive daydreaming.

But honestly? Maybe it’s just survival, disguised with a little sparkle.

The Quiet World Girls Create

Growing up as girls, we learn early that the world is loud, unpredictable, and often unkind. So we build soft, invisible worlds inside ourselves, places where things make sense, where pain has meaning, where everything is leading somewhere. We turn boredom into plot development, embarrassment into character growth and  sadness into a slow-motion scene with rain on the windows.

Because without those stories, everything would feel heavier than we’re ready to admit.

And the truth is, every girl has a movie inside her.

A secret one.

A private one.

In it, you are beautiful in your own way; flawed but unforgettable, soft but determined, hurt but still hopeful, and all the time you’re the main character, In that version, disappointments are just scenes that will make sense later.

The wrong people were never meant to stay; they were simply playing the roles they were cast for. And eventually; always eventually, you step into the glow you had always imagined for yourself.

Maybe that’s why most girls stare out of bus windows like they’re escaping a city they’re not even leaving. It could also account for why we replay conversations in our heads, editing our lines. Why we dress for moods we can’t explain. Also why we treat our lives like chapters instead of chaos.

Because deep down, we don’t just want to exist.

We want to mean something;to ourselves, at least.

Romanticizing as a Soft Rebellion

There’s something quietly rebellious about the way girls romanticize life. In a world that constantly asks us to shrink, to harden, to be realistic, choosing softness is an act of resistance. Choosing beauty; especially in small moments- is a way of saying, I exist. I still feel. And I  still care.

Let’s be real here girls, romanticizing life doesn’t mean we should ignore our reality. It means refusing to let reality flatten you. It’s finding magic in routines, comfort in repetition, and hope in moments that look insignificant from the outside.

And maybe that’s the psychology behind it all:

When the world feels overwhelming, girls make it poetic.

So… Is It a Flaw?

Maybe the beauty isn’t in the big plot twist, the dramatic win, or the perfect ending. Maybe it’s in the simple truth that we show up every day, even when the reality script makes no sense, even when the scene feels pointless.

So yes, we live like we’re main characters.

We walk like someone or in fact everyone we know is watching.

We cry.

We hope the next scene will explain everything.

Maybe that’s not a flaw.

Maybe that’s girlhood.

And maybe..just maybe..that’s what keeps us soft enough to believe there’s still more to come.

Your big sister,

Esther.