Trianon Magazine

by Ola

Have you ever felt truly suffocated, claustrophobic and trapped in your own body? Have you ever wished you could be someone completely different – whether in the way you look or act? This is a devastating place many women lose themselves in. You might hate the way you talk, look, or act and wish you could swap bodies. You might start seeing yourself through a distorted lens, wishing you had just been born in a different body.
Usually we’re told it is social media and the fake lives people display are to blame. And while social media does have a significant impact in delivering this negative effects, it’s not the only cause of it. Let us dive deeper into the topic.

As humans, families and relatives are the closest tie to us and therefore we subconsciously put of great importance to their opinions and views. A child who grew up hearing uplifting and encouraging comments isn’t the same as a child who grew up hearing nothing but negative talk from people they consider are the closest to them. Both grew up in different enviroments and therefore both will grow up to have different mindsets and views.

The one that grew up hearing uplifting and encouraging comments will most likely grow up to be confident in who they are and comfortable in their own skin. However on the other hand, the one who grew up hearing nothing but toxicity will struggle with self image, self doubt and even self hate, the child will most likely start looking for validation from the outside world and become a people pleaser who just begs to even be noticed for once.

Negative talk from families and or relatives

It cannot be sympathized enough how much the way you talk, praise and encourage your child can do to them. Making them feel appreciated, loved and cared for so they can appreciate, love and take good care of themselves even in your absence. On the other hand if you do the opposite, they will also do the opposite in both your absence and presence.

Society comments :

It is easy to be told to “Love yourself” but it is understandably hard to actually do so when the society around you does not. It is not just a matter of “do not care about others views” it is the fact those hateful people will leave you no space to actually love yourself.
Insults after insults that cut deep, name calling, doubting your abilities and making you second guess them. Those stuff can not just be ignored, it is like their words are a type of affirmations – the negative type, it will slowly get into the head of who they are being
thrown at and they will start believing whatever is being said about them. Their brains will slowly start affirming those though. They may start feeling worthless, undesirable and undeserving of love or anything good in their life. They will doubt their abilities and their purpose in life.

What you might have thought is “just a joke” could have destroyed someone’s soul and permanently scarred them for life. It is not okay to find amusement in bringing down others just because it does not hurt you. A positive comment goes a long way.

Social media’s strong influence

The most common place where people have learnt to hate themselves. Social media can either be a place full of toxicity or a place full of positivity there is no in between.
Unfortunately the place where you land in will make you determine your self worth especially if you are a person who is easily influenced. We were taught over the years to believe that there are specific standards you have to meet to be appreciated or even noticed and if you do not meet such standards you are basically not a person of importance in this world. Having to look a certain way, act a certain way, talk in a certain tone…etc. And if someone even dares to go against those standards they are immediately treated as an outcast and judged to the core.

Consuming too much of media content that tells you how you have to look and act to be loved can have a great impact in your mental health. It will start messing with your brain making you wish you could just be smarter, more charismatic, more this, more that, leading you to start self doubting and eventually hating yourself. And by that social media has succeeded in making you hate yourself.

But really, if we all looked the same, acted the same and talked the same is there any individuality left? We would all just be clones of each other with no sense of individuality whatsoever. We were all born different for a reason. Those “standards” are nothing but a poison to your soul. Those standards were created for people to love themselves and feel like they are the blueprint, so why don’t you do the same? Why don’t you set your own standards and being your own blueprint? Remember, life is way too short to keep chasing after society’s approval.

Live your life like you own it.