Boys don’t cry. Be a man. Real men don’t do that. All these sentences are used, reused, and overused in everyday discussions, songs, Tiktoks, and they’re not harmless, as we can imagine. Actually, they might be the cause of that terrible ditch that keeps growing between men and women.
Sexism refers to actions, remarks, or behaviors that treat people differently based solely on their gender.
For a long time, we have implied that women had to modify their attitudes in order to change this phenomenon. Becoming stronger, working, doing long studies, being confident, being financially independent. Yet, now that all of this has been done, it seems that men’s opinions of women have foremost not evolved much.
The reason may reside in what’s called by sociologists the primary socialization. The first tears of any child are determinant in that child’s future way of living, acting, and thinking.
Bad news : it means children exposed to hatred and violenceare more likely to reproduce them.
Good news : it’s not always the case, and even if it was, everyone can always change, at any time.
So now, the real issue needs to be solved in men and in the youngest generations. There is an emergency to educate boys about feelings and emotions the same way as girls. There is no place for « be a man, don’t cry », or « you are too sensitive, you sound like a girl »… We are all humans and feeling and expressing feelings are our essence. By forbidding certain people to behave a way or prevent them from having sensitivity, we are creating a distorted society that will turn to toxic role models who encourage sexism, misogyny and more.
Maybe it should start with a reform of how men and women are represented in movies and books — focusing less on men’s physical strength and women’s beauty, and more on their individuality, thoughts, and complexity.
Even individually we can make the change : by encouraging people to express their feelings freely and listening without judging, by choosing media that portray diverse and respectful role models or by questioning our own reactions sometimes – the ones we’ve inherited without noticing.
It’s still time to change.
Because at the end, feminism is not a fight against men, it’s a fight for everyone.
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