by Ola
As we all know being a girl isn’t the easiest thing, it comes with it’s own challenges, dreams and unspoken questions. Sometimes even feelings that we dare not to voice out loudly due to us feeling ashamed of them or scared that we will be judged by society or even other girls. It just seems like we cannot take a break, right? Well, in this article today I will try my best to cover some of the subjects concerning women. Let’s start, shall we?
SELF CONFIDENCE AND SELF DESTRUCTION
You might be wondering why did I put those two together in the same category even though they are the complete opposite of each other. Well, that’s because those two can be very much related to each other. And what I mean by that is, while you might think that you are practicing self love and “self confidence” you could be destroying yourself in the process. Let me explain, imagine a woman who is really confident with
herself, loves herself and just generally has a healthy relationship with herself, but in addition, she thinks less of everyone around her and arrogant in the way she treats people because she thinks she’s better than them. Do not ever mix that up with “self confidence”, this is just complete arrogance, and in the process she is destroying herself. Self confidence is accepting and loving who you are, treating others with respect and
humbleness, in addition to never thinking less of anyone around you. That is what true self love is about.
DECENTERING MEN IN YOUR LIFE
In no way when I say “decenter men from your life” am I saying that you should start a hate train against men, I am simply implying that us women should not be too independent on men being part of our lives because you won’t always have a man that is there for you in every stage of your life, and you will not receive male validation or attention every time you step outside or every time you post something on social
media. Sure, having a significant other that loves you and takes care of you is nice and for sure it’s every girl’s dream, same goes for receiving male validation or attention, it could definitely boost our confidence up right? Well, sometimes this could genuinely be destroying your mental health and self confidence, because as soon as we don’t receive that love from men or that attention and validation, some of us tend to loose all
of our confidence that we’ve built and that’s because we have the unfortunate mindset that for you to be considered attractive and desirable, men need to find us attractive first. But, I’m here to tell you that is possibly far from the truth. Attractiveness comes from within, you can’t just wear beautiful clothes and go out well groomed full of confidence just to loose that confidence simply because you did not get any male
validation, attention or even a compliment from men. No, you have to love yourself and own your confidence. Just because you got male attention and validation the other day absolutely does not mean you shall receive it today, and you have to understand that that’s completely fine. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you will not always receive the male validation and attention you are craving, but that does not make you any less beautiful, love yourself and try to give yourself that validation you’re craving, you do not
need any external validation, only internal validation lasts, remember that.
Same goes for romantic relationships and significant others, you won’t have a significant other in every part of your life, and that doesn’t mean you’re any less deserving of love, everyone in this deserves love including you. Maybe you haven’t found “the one” yet because the future is storing for you “the ride or die one”. Stay patient and love yourself because no one can love you more than your own self;
PERSONAL GROWTH
Personal growth isn’t the most comfortable and definitely not the easiest to achieve, it takes time, patience and lots of work and pressure, but you have to understand that’s literally everything in the world, everything takes time, patience, work and effort. However, personal growth is so important in every individual’s life as it shapes you, it teaches you how to deal with society and the world. It strengthens you in so many ways. This shows how much important is it to practice personal growth. Let us talk about some aspects that could slowly help us build personal growth and self confidence.
First and foremost is self- discipline, personal growth isn’t just about dreams and fantasizing about those dreams, you need to be discipline in achieving such dreams and working hard to reach them. You need to stand your ground and tell yourself, “I can and I will do it”. No matter how many obstacles face you in the process, no matter how many time you fail, and no matter how many people try to put you down. Keep your
head up and fight for your dream with absolute discipline, at the end of the day no one can achieve that dream for you, only you can.
Secondly, unlearning and relearning, sometimes we might unconsciously develop bad traits or bad mindset without even noticing it, and that’s completely okay, what’s not okay is not doing anything to unlearn such negative qualities we’ve developed and continuing to practice such qualities without trying to self improve. Unlearning and relearning is a really important part of self growth, it contributes a lot in character
development and growth, therefore, we must try our best to unlearn negative qualities and instead replace them with positive qualities. Remember, it takes time and patience, do not rush it. As soon as you notice a bad quality that you have developed start by acknowledging from where and why did you pick up such quality. Get to the root cause of your problem and then move to how you can improve yourself for the better. Let us take a small example, you were probably taught that having your own opinion makes you “too opinionated” or having boundaries is “rude” or “stuck up” but that’s far from the truth. Your voice, your opinion, and your boundaries shouldn’t be something to toned down for the comfort of others. You should do what’s comfortable and desirable for you and only you. Relearn and embrace without any guilt nor an apology.
Thirdly is breaking free from limited beliefs and pessimism, we usually have limited beliefs of how life shall go and that can makes us very pessimistic and could limit us from achieving our goals simply because we have a limited belief in ourselves, therefore we think we cannot possibly achieve that dream, and that mentality is really damaging to develop. We shouldn’t confine ourselves to a set limit, instead, we must believe in our ability to succeed, no matter how challenging or complex the journey may seem. It’s
important to have full trust in ourselves and refuse to place restrictions on what we can and can’t achieve. So, to break free from such mindset, we must travel every path, whether it’s smooth or difficult, with the full confidence that we will overcome it. Even when doubts arise and pessimism creeps in, we must keep striving and pushing forward
until we achieve our goals. Be confident that you can do it and don’t limit your belief in yourself at all.
EMBRACING INDIVIDUALITY
In a world where people constantly follow trends, mimicking each other’s style, personalities, and even opinions, true individuality stands out. As we grow older into our teenage years, we find ourselves chasing after trends, whether it’s for the sake of being liked by society, or simply got influenced into following a specific trend. Surprisingly, this can sometimes do more harm than good. You see, when we excessively follow trends and get influenced easily, we might fall into the trap of losing our individuality, relying on
external validation, and shaping our identities based on other’s expectations rather than our true selves. This can lead to lack of originality, self confidence and even difficulty making our own independent decisions and choices. This why you should always embrace individuality and uniqueness instead of just following others
lead. A way you can achieve that is, whenever you wear something like clothes, accessories, shoes basically any form of clothing, take a moment and ask yourself, “Am I wearing it because I genuinely like it and it’s my style or am I just wearing it to gain external validation?” If the answer to that is because you want to gain external validation then that’s the wrong answer, and you should shift that mindset before stepping a foot
outside. It’s totally fine if you actually like the outfit even if it’s considered trendy, sometimes we can discover our clothing styles that actually fits us and we like through trends and social media, and that’s okay. What’s not okay though is only doing it for external validation without considering your own internal
validation.
Laisser un commentaire